Stupid Product Warning Labels

[Carl]

On the "CycleAware" helmet-mounted mirror:
"Remember: Objects in the mirror are actually behind you."

On a large folding cardboard sunshade for car windscreens:
"Do not attempt to operate vehicle with sunshade in place."

On a car lock which loops around both the clutch pedal and the steering wheel:
"Warning - Remove lock before driving."

In the instructions for a Korean kitchen knife:
"Keep out of children."

On a packet of juggling balls:
"This product contains small granules under 3 millimeters. Not suitable for children under the age of 14 years in Europe or 8 years in the USA."

On a packet of Nytol sleeping tablets:
"Warning: may cause drowsiness."

On a packet of peanuts served on an internal flight in China (written in both English and Chinese):
"Open packet and eat contents."

On 500g packets of Sainsbury's peanuts:
"Contains nuts."

Seen on a camera:
"This camera only works when there is a film inside."

On a bottle of flavored milk drink:
"After opening, keep upright."

On a Rowenta iron:
"Warning ! Never iron clothes on the body !"

On a can of windscreen de-icing spray:
"Spray works in sub-zero temperatures."

On a can of insect spray:
"Kills all kinds of insects! Warning: this spray is harmful to bees."

A different brand of insect spray:
"Kills flies, wasps, mosquitoes, midges, and other flying insects. Not tested on animals."

On an ocean buoy for determining the position of submarines:
"Protect from seawater."

On a Halloween Batman costume:
"This cape does not give the wearer the ability to fly."

On Sears hairdryer:
"Do not use while sleeping."

On a bag of Fritos:
"You could be a winner ! No purchase necessary. Details inside."

On a bar of Dial soap:
"Directions: Use like regular soap."

On some Swann frozen dinners:
"Serving suggestion: Defrost."

On a hotel provided shower cap in a box:
"Fits one head."

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom of the box):
"Do not turn upside down."

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
"Product will be hot after heating."

On Boot's Children's cough medicine:
"Do not drive car or operate machinery."

On a Swedish chainsaw:
"Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."

On a child's superman costume:
"Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."