Bloody hell, what a palaver I had over the weekend, my wife was nagging me to cut the grass, to which I answered, "What do I look like to you? A landscaper?!" Next time the sink was dripping, she asked me again, "Honey, can you fix the tap?" I then replied, "What do I look like to you? A Plumber?!" Two days later, a light bulb went out and she begged me again, "Honey, can you change the light bulb?" Again my reply was, "What am I, an electrician?!"
Yesterday I came home from work to find that the lawn is cut, the tap is fixed and the light bulb is changed. Very surprised, I said, "Honey, what happened here?" The wife replies, "You know our new next door neighbor? He came over and fixed everything." I then said, "Honey, how did you pay him?!" "Oh, you know," the wife says, "he told me that I could either bake him a cake or have sex with him." Somewhat relieved I asked, "Whew, so what kind of a cake did you bake for him?" The wife replies, "Who do you think I am? NIGELLA LAWSON
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